Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s can feel like learning a new language without a guidebook. You may rely on instincts, read up on tips, and promise yourself to stay calm, but the condition doesn’t follow predictable rules. What worked last night might backfire today. Still, small, thoughtful changes can ease daily challenges and foster a more peaceful connection, helping you avoid unintentionally making some of the most common Alzheimer’s caregiving mistakes.
Here are six common missteps that caregivers often fall into, along with ideas for what to do instead.
1. Trying to “Fix” Their Reality
It’s natural to want to clarify things. You might catch yourself saying, “That’s not what happened,” or “You already had dinner.” But Alzheimer’s alters how the brain interprets time and memory. Correcting or contradicting often leads to more confusion and emotional distress.
Try this instead: Step into their world. If they’re asking when the bus arrives—despite no bus being scheduled—talk with them about where they’re heading or what that place meant to them. This meets them in their emotional reality rather than challenging it.
2. Frequently Pointing Out Mistakes
You may want to keep your loved one grounded in the present by correcting them when they misname someone or mistake the day. However, constant correction—though well-meaning—can leave them feeling scolded or diminished.
Try this instead: If the mistake doesn’t cause harm, let it go. Focus on how they’re feeling rather than what they’re saying. Emotional connection matters more than factual accuracy.
3. Giving Complex Instructions
Even simple daily routines can feel overwhelming when instructions are delivered all at once. “Put your shoes on, bring your hat, and come outside” might feel chaotic to someone with cognitive challenges.
Try this instead: Give directions one at a time, slowly and calmly. Allow space for them to absorb and respond before adding the next step. Your tone matters as much as your words.
4. Taking Hurtful Behavior Personally
One of the hardest parts of dementia care is feeling like your loved one has changed. They may lash out, act suspiciously, or even seem to forget who you are. That kind of behavior can hurt deeply.
Try this instead: Remind yourself that these behaviors are symptoms, not reflections of your relationship. Even if their words are sharp, their need for connection hasn’t disappeared. Keep showing up with love—they may not say it, but it still means something.
5. Talking About Them Instead of With Them
When communication is difficult, it can be tempting to answer for your loved one or talk around them. But people living with Alzheimer’s can often still understand tone and notice when they’re being excluded.
Try this instead: Make them part of the conversation. Maintain eye contact. Ask yes-or-no questions. Even if their verbal responses are limited, your respectful attention reassures them they still matter.
6. Ignoring Your Limits
Alzheimer’s caregiving often turns into a full-time job, especially if you’re juggling work, family, and household duties. It’s easy to fall into a routine of doing everything yourself—but burnout is real.
Try this instead: Prioritize your own health. Whether it’s a walk outside, an hour of respite care, or asking for help from a sibling or neighbor, give yourself breaks. The more rested you are, the better you’ll be able to support your loved one.
Every Day Is a Learning Experience
Alzheimer’s doesn’t come with a roadmap. Some moments will feel manageable, and others may leave you exhausted and uncertain. The key is to stay flexible, adjust as needed, and be kind to yourself as you go.
No one has all the answers. But every act of care—even the imperfect ones—makes a difference.
Support Is Within Reach
At JFS Care, we specialize in Alzheimer’s care that brings structure and reassurance to your loved one’s day—and gives caregivers the breathing room they need. Our team is trained to handle the ups and downs of dementia with patience, empathy, and creativity.
We proudly serve families throughout Brentwood, Sherman Oaks, Beverly Hills, and throughout the Los Angeles area. Reach out at 213-383-2273 to learn more.