You have just settled Mom into bed after a challenging day. You are exhausted—physically and emotionally—and there’s still a list of tasks waiting for your attention. Maybe it was the struggle with getting her to take her medication today, or the call from a member of the family who offered well-meaning but impractical advice that caused that extra degree of stress. Being a caregiver for a senior can be one of the hardest jobs you’ll face in your lifetime. Focusing on caregiver mental wellness and emotional resilience is important, and it’s the foundation that will help you move forward when the days are rough.
So just how do you build emotional resilience? There are some simple but effective steps you can take today.
- Embrace what you can control—and let go of everything you can’t. It’s easy to feel like every setback is a representation of your abilities as a caregiver. Did Mom refuse to eat again today? Did she get irritated during her physical therapy session? These moments can feel very personal. But building emotional resilience begins with realizing that you cannot control everything. Instead of concentrating on what went wrong, try to focus on what you can influence. For example, you can’t control whether Mom chooses to eat every meal, you could control offering appetizing and nutritious options. Once you let go of the pressure to repair everything, you give yourself space to concentrate on what you can improve.
- Practice self-compassion and self-care without guilt. Caregiving is frequently synonymous with selflessness, but you can’t pour from an empty cup. Practicing self-care does not have to mean taking a two-week vacation (although that would be nice!)—sometimes it means giving yourself ten minutes to read a chapter of a novel, watch your favorite show, or take a short walk around the block. Self-compassion is equally as important. When things don’t go as planned, like a doctor’s appointment that develops into a meltdown, it’s easy to blame yourself. Instead, try treating yourself with the exact same kindness you would show a friend in your position. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can, and that is enough.
- Celebrate the little victories. There will be days when everything feels overwhelming. It’s easy to concentrate on the things that didn’t go right, but emotional resilience is made by shifting that focus to the wins, no matter how small they might seem. Did Mom finally smile after days of feeling withdrawn? Did you manage to carve out five minutes for a cup of tea while she took a nap? These moments matter. Emotional resilience grows when you acknowledge these small victories, because it reminds you that your efforts are making a positive change, even if the road is bumpy.
- Lean on your support network. No one can do it alone, and the fact is, you don’t have to. Building emotional resilience means knowing when to ask for help. Whether it’s reaching out to a friend, joining an online support group, or partnering with JFS Care, sharing your burden lightens it. If a neighbor offers to bring over dinner, say yes. If a family member offers to sit with Mom for an hour, let them. It’s not an indication of weakness to accept help; in fact, it is a sign of strength as it shows you are focused on sustaining yourself for the long haul.
- Build a flexible outlook. When you’re caring for an older loved one, plans often change. Maybe today was meant to be an outing to the park, but now it is a day of coping with a flare-up of health issues. Emotional resilience is not about resisting these changes; it’s about flowing with them. As opposed to being focused on everything you couldn’t do, think of what’s possible now. Instead of that outing, maybe it becomes a cozy afternoon watching their favorite movie. Adapting your expectations helps decrease feelings of frustration and disappointment, which ultimately builds a stronger, more resilient mindset.
Let Us Help!
Caregiving is never a role you need to fill all alone! Our trained, experienced care professionals are here to partner with you to guarantee the best quality of life for the person you love, and the opportunity for you to discover a healthy life balance for yourself. Serving West Los Angeles, Sherman Oaks, Santa Monica, and areas throughout Los Angeles County, you can reach us any time at (213) 383-2273.